If this was an across-the-board bad drivability issue, then I'd agree; simply bad transmission tuning. But we seem to have a very distinct bimodal distribution, with a huge hump of "I LOVE IT" and a small number of "I HATE IT". Is one of the two camps simply crazy? Were the bad ones bad on 'day 1', or did they go bad? WE JUST DON'T KNOW!
Now I can see a situation in which possibly this could be defect driven. The software could be sound, but it's responding to say a set of way out of spec components in the transmission valve body, a low pressure pump, bad calibration of the twin resistor pots in the throttle pedal, etc. I'm just guessing here! Many of these issues should throw a code, but maybe overly smart software is attempting to compensate instead.
Or as I suggest, maybe it's early driver initiated. We have no idea how many vehicles are impacted, or how they are driven.
When you don't know, and nobody at Toyota seems in a position to help, what do you do? You either live with it, sell the van, or try some good old fashioned self help and attempt an experiment. You can be skeptical all you want, but what have you got to lose by trying?