thanks for the words of encouragement tcp. So I've come up with a few more specific questions...
1. For the brake controller power from the van's battery what gauge should be used and will it need to be "stepped down" to a smaller gauge to fit the wire coming from the controller itself? Also what size should the self-resetting circuit breaker be for this power run?
Each electric trailer brake uses a 3-4amps at full voltage. If your trailer is single axle, that's about 6amps and if it's dual axle its about 12 amps. A 10gauge wire from the battery should be fine in either case. The controller power wire is either 10 or 12 gauge so connecting the two shouldn't be a problem. I figure the only time I want the brakes to stop working is on a dead short so even with my single axle trailer I use a 30amp breaker. 20 would be fine. 10 may cause problems with inrush current.
2. For the power to the modulite from the van's battery what gauge should be used and will it need to be "stepped down" to a smaller gauge to fit the wire coming from the modulite? Also what size circuit breaker?
This again varies with the number of running lights your trailer has. The modulite will draw the amount that is pulled by all running lights being on as well as brakes depressed. Honestly, for lights, a 10gauge or even 12gauge would be fine as a bit of voltage drop along the run isn't going to effect the lamp's light output in any considerable way. I would go with 30amp again as your only real concern is a dead short.
3. and you guessed it...For the power to go to the 7-pin for charging the camper's battery what gauge should be used and will it need to be "stepped down" to fit the wiring for the 7-pin? What size circuit breaker? And what size (?) relay should be used if I do get one?
This one gets a bit more murky. I have a dual 10gauge wires run for this and after a few trips out I realized that I don't actually charge my batteries in any considerable way while driving. I "maintain" or add a bit of surface charge, but no real charging seems to occur. I would go with a minimum of 8 gauge for this run. Chances are good you're never going to charge at any rate over 30 amps while driving even with a 8 or 6gauge wire run so the breaker and relay should be rated for about that: 30 amps. I have a bank of 3 batteries that I have installed in our trailer (I use a big inverter to run the microwave from the batteries). Even the regular automotive relays are good for 30amps switched and 40 amps with the contact made:
http://www.the12volt.com/relays/relays.asp
It's the long runs of wire that drop voltage, not the relay contacts unless they get old, oxidized or dirty.
As far as splicing wires, if you have any experience with a soldering iron, soldered and heat-shrunk connections are the best. You can push the strands of each wire into each other and coat the whole thing with solder (make sure it flows into the strands and doesn't just blob on top) or do it the "proper" way:
http://w6rec.com/duane/bmw/solder/
either way is better than a crimped connection.