The "skidding out of control light" is whats known as the "traction control" light. It's coming on in curves because the steering angle sensor isn't calibrated. This should be done every time you get it aligned.
The exact same thing happened to me in 2021, right after I bought my van - I had to get it aligned anyway because I replaced the steering rack, so I told the shop to make sure that the steering angle calibration gets done. Hasn't had an issue with that ever since.
Because the steering angle sensor is not calibrated, the computer thinks the steering wheel is in a different position that it actually is. The computer only sees what it's being fed.
For simplicity's sake - it sees the calculated steering wheel position and speed of the vehicle, takes that and calculates the vehicle's expected behavior, and compares it to the vehicle's actual behavior. If it doesn't match, the computer does the "safe" thing by reducing engine power to prevent spinning out of control - even if it's not actually going to spin out.
I would just take it to an alignment shop and have them calibrate it. Does not take long, any shop with a computerized alignment system made within the last couple decades can do it, and if you look around, you might find someone who will do it for cheap. Either that, or stick to your promise of ditching it for an 82 VW Rabbit 😂